Friday, September 14, 2007

It was sabotage.

But only subconsciously. I did it because being in the middle of nowhere for an indefinite amount of time is not where I want to be at this point in my life. Before my heart settled down, I was ready to dive into anything and everything. I needed that constant change because I guess in a way that gives my heart more of a chance to find 'the one'. I took for granted that my family and long-time friends would always be there to pick me up from the airport upon my return. But then you find the one and you begin to appreciate everyone in your life and you begin to reign in your leaps and bounds. You realize there's a greater benefit to being close to the people you love than there is to taking greater and greater chances with your career. I don't know what I want at this point, but I know who at least.

Friday, September 07, 2007


Funny thing: this piece wasn't created with any drawing tool. It's a mosaic/collage using ripped up pieces of magazine paper. I made it as a case cover for a mix cd I had.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Blank pages

are all that sit before me. I've got 60 pencil crayons, 16 pastels, 12 Staedtler sketching pencils, and 8 water color paints. And still: just a book of blank pages. After everything, I still feel like I can't put anything down on this page. Sometimes it's easier when you've just got one pencil: no choice in colors or style. Nothing to choose but what to put down on the blank page. But now, in addition to that ultimate question, I've got to choose what to use, what color, where do I start connecting drawing tool to paper...

The greatest artists were influenced by their times, either to depict what was happening or to depict their wildest dreams or their perception of what reality of the time was. I've got everything they've got, except that defining time, that influence. Sometimes freedom of choice is a curse.