Saturday, March 29, 2008

In pursuit of happiness...

'Happiness is a choice' is what I usually say to people who are down and in a rut. And now that I sit in the rut I've tried to help people get out of, I'm beginning to wonder... Is it really just a matter of opening your proverbial eyes and finding happiness again and throwing your smile back on your face? Five months have come and gone and at first it was easy: It was a novel idea of a big city girl living in a mining town, traveling and staying at hotels every few months, having a wickedly chill work environment with a family-like group of co-workers, getting paid more than I ever imagined I would after university.

Sigh.

And now, the dust has settled and I see the dismal town this big city girl has been dropped in, the traveling for work is wearing down my love of movement, I'm finding that the family-like group of co-workers have already established their lives here and don't need a newbie in the mix of regularity, and the paychecks are losing their luster. This is the first time I've been stuck wondering how to dust myself off and make myself the happy girl that select people have come to love.

Advice is always easier to give than to take. So note to self (and others who like to give advice): don't hand it out like it's candy because chances are you won't enjoy it like candy when it comes time to taking it yourself.

In an attempt at positivity, let's try to identify what I can be happy about:
My family, Ian, my health, work is going well, the weather is starting to show signs of improvement...

I guess in my time alone here, I've realized just how important friends are: They really are a support system. And somehow they've disappeared from the above list. I'm sorry to Ian because he is now carrying the burden my friends usually share the load of. We've become the victims of circumstance and I'm sorry for that because I was an accomplice in the crime.