Saturday, March 29, 2008

per·se·ver·ance /ˌpɜrsəˈvɪərəns/ [pur-suh-veer-uhns]

–noun
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Today I watched Bella and the movie reminded me of another story I once heard of... the story of a woman who gave up friends and a good job to be with a man in a foreign country. Just a year into the marriage, and there were already fears and proof of infidelity. How could a person do that to someone who gave up so much to be with them? More importantly though, how could a person have another child with this man and stay married to him? Perseverance is what it was/is. This woman refused to let go of the nuclear family life that she always dreamed she'd have. She sacrificed her own happiness to make it work for herself and for the sake of the children. Sometimes I don't know if I should be praising this woman or feeling sorry for this woman. If you get what you want by sacrificing true love and happiness is that a good thing? When is enough enough? But to be fair, I suppose she found true love and happiness in her children. If a person can persevere through a marriage like that, it takes a certain type of bravery. Some might say it would've taken a braver person to get out of that situation, but I'd have to disagree. It's a different kind. It takes different kinds of guts to get out of an unhealthy situation than it takes to seek and find love and happiness somewhere else within that situation.

I guess this thought-exercise has finally made me realize why she loves her children so much: it's the only love she's been able to attain for herself to shroud her dark past with. Some may misconstrue this love with over-bearing and protective, but that's what love should be, right? It should consume you and protect you. But wait: is it still perseverance in this case or is it love? Or is it because of love that perseverance exists?