Monday, November 09, 2009


The 老公 and I have decided on having more of an anniversary party than a wedding because there will be so many wedding traditions thrown out the window by the time we're done with it that there will be no point in labelling it a wedding in the first place! The decision came about one night as we lay in bed, in the dark, talking about our vision for the wedding. After going through the list of things we *didn't * want to have, we realized there was no way we could call it a wedding without certain traditionalists in our circle of friends giving us bad vibes for hosting such an "unconventional" wedding.

To us, the need to celebrate our marriage is just an excuse to gather close friends & family to get to know each other and know us better while having a good time. During our talk in the dark, it was hard for me to conceptualize our wedding because we kept saying, "yeah, we don't need to do/have that", relative to the "typical" wedding formula of ceremony+cocktail hr+reception+speeches+first dance+father/daughter dance+mother/son dance+cake cutting+meet&greet+being whisked away in a fancy car to the honeymoon. After deconstructing that wedding formula to fulfill the two things we wanted our "wedding" to be (gathering of close family & friends + fun), we realized we just had one big party on our hands and that made it easier for me to envision our day. The wedding formula was really bogging me down until I finally let it all go and it felt great. It felt great knowing this party would be unlike any I've been to or friends have been to. It felt great knowing we could do whatever we wanted and not be judged for it because we are already married. We could call this thing whatever we wanted and it felt great.

But then comes the hard part: we could do any.thing.we.wanted. Though I exaggerate a bit here because 老公 and I already decided that we wanted to host this at someone's cottage near his hometown. We're still trying to nail down a date, which I feel is the most difficult decision to make right now. October 2nd was the original potential date since it would be our official 1 year anniversary (of being a Mister & Misses) except it may be too cold for the locale we've chosen. We had first considered a California locale, which made the weather a non-issue, but it just made no sense to have family & friends who are mostly in EST to all fly out to PST, if they can even make the time. So a party in EST time made the most sense. But again, what date to pick... I'll have to come back to this another day because I'm just so indecisive right now (老公 is his usual indifferent self so I should note here that most final decisions will likely be made by me).

A venue is also up in the air but I'm confident that it's just a matter of the 老公 reaching out to his people and his peoples' connections to secure a site.

So what do I envision... for now, I will just leave a link to a wedding I recently came across that comes pretty close to what the 老公 and I want/wish we could have. Maybe I'll come up with a collage of ideas that I've become fond of through all the wedding-blog-perusal-ing I've been doing.